The girls’ school does an annual Glow Run to raise money for the school.  Every winter the school brings in an inflatable tunnel, sticks it in one end of the gym, and illuminates the tunnel, and bright colored posters taped to the walls with black lights.  The kids get pledges for how many laps around the gym and through the tunnel they can do in a half hour.  Then, the school buys something ridiculous with the money that is raised.  When Dee Dee went to preschool, the room she was in was next to the gym and the kids in her preschool class were invited to take a turn running around the gym in the dark.  Since then, the Glow Run has been a major event of every school year for Dee Dee. This year’s Glow Run would be Audio’s first. 

A couple years ago, the school raised enough money to buy a Gaga Ball Pit.  It’s a sandbox with short walls around it that kids can play dodge ball inside of.  It isn’t clear what makes playing dodge ball inside the Gaga Ball Pit better than playing without the Gaga Ball Pit.  But that’s what the PTA decided to spend their money on.  The Gaga Ball Pit still sits outside the back door of the school, unused.  This year, the plan is to use the money raised by the Glow Run to pay a local artist to paint a mural in the school cafeteria.  The big difference between the Gaga Ball Pit and the mural is that the Gaga Ball Pit was used, at least for a little while before it was ignored. 

Last year, I sent some glow sticks for Dee Dee to activate and wear as bracelets during the Glow Run.  Unfortunately, her teacher confiscated the glow sticks from her.  It may or may not be necessary to add here that the teacher that Dee Dee had last year was a meek young woman who hated the idea of children having fun and had no business working with kids. Fortunately for the kids in our neighborhood, she did not return to teach at the local school this year.  Audio was in the same preschool program last year as Dee Dee had been in a few years ago but (most likely due to COVID) didn’t get invited to take part in the Glow Run like Dee Dee had.   

This year, both girls are signed up to participate in the Glow Run and my wife and I pledged a dollar for every lap they complete.  In return for that dollar per lap donation, the girls will both get a pair of rainbow shoe laces.  At least, I think they each get a pair.  Worst case scenario, they will each get one rainbow shoe lace and there will be one pair of rainbow shoe laces around the house that they can share.  And, my wife has volunteered to help out with the Glow Run.  When she went online to volunteer, neither Dee Dee’s nor Audio’s classes needed any more help, but the third grade class needed one more helper.  So, she signed up to help the Third Graders and would be there while the third graders do their run and be ending her “shift” as Dee Dee’s second grade class started their run.   

We spent the week wondering if either girl would be healthy enough to go to school on Friday, the day of the Glow Run. When Friday came, Audio had a mild cough but Dee Dee seemed symptom free.  So, both girls went to school.  My wife went to the school in the afternoon to assist with the third grade Glow Run.  She texted me to let me know that one of the dads who is involved in the PTA was playing DJ/MC and that a couple other parents were standing around wondering what they were supposed to do.  She sent me a photo showing how the gym and the large, inflatable tunnel were lit with black lights.  Leading into and out of the tunnel, there was glowing tape on the floor in an oval that went around the gym, showing the track where the kids were supposed to run.  About an hour later I got another text from my wife telling me that she was going to be sticking around to watch Dee Dee’s class run and then bring the girls home at the end of the day. 

After everyone was home, the girls told me that the Glow Run was as fun as they’d hoped it would be and they were pretty excited about the whole thing.  While Dee Dee and Audio were bathing my wife shared with me that Dee Dee’s class was the last of the day to do the run.  She said that the DJ Dad got all the kids lined up at the edge of the inflatable tunnel and started the run with, “On your marks, get set,” and then like a Mexican soccer announcer calling a goal shouted, “Goooooooo!” for an annoyingly long time.  When the kids started running Daddy DJ turned up some kid-friendly rock music to enhance the atmosphere.   

My wife watched all the kids run into the inflatable tunnel.  As the first kids started to come out of the other end, the last of the kids in the group were just entering the tunnel.  The last kid in the pack was wearing his winter boots and didn’t seem to really want to move.  So, my wife approached him.  Just as she got close to him, he ran into the tunnel, stopped, bent over and vomited.  Not eager to approach the boy, my wife tried to get the attention of MC Dad.  She said that he noticed her but seemed confused about the message.  Instead of realizing that she was trying to get help, he turned up I Love Rock and Roll by Joan Jett, mouthed the words and aimed the headstock of his air guitar at my wife. 

By this point, the first group of kids had made their way around the gym and were heading back into the tunnel.  My wife, concerned about the boy barfing in the tunnel turned and started to walk to where she had seen him throw up.  But, as she tried to make her way into the tunnel, excited, sprinting second graders charged past her, causing her to back out of the way.  When the crowd had passed her, she could no longer see the sick boy in the tunnel.  And, even though it was dark, it was light enough to see that the puddle of his vomit had been run through by many of the glow runners. 

My wife said that by this point, the kids were so spread out that there wasn’t a safe chance for her to step into the tunnel to look for the boy.  So, she decided that she should just tell someone that there was vomit in the tunnel.  She turned towards the Rock and Roll Father who was pumping his fists in the air, eyes closed, with a huge, satisfied smile on his face.  She spotted two other parent volunteers standing against the wall near the gym door and walked towards them.  Apparently, they weren’t able to hear her over the music and noise of the runners and when she said, “A boy threw up in the tunnel,” they only heard the word “tunnel” and agreed with her that it was, “an awesome tunnel,” and praised our local DJ for doing such a great job.  When my wife tried to explain that she needed help, the parents sheepishly peeled their backs off the wall, picked up and shook some pom poms, and danced towards the table where MC Oblivious was rocking out. 

My wife went back to the tunnel and looked inside.  The boy in the boots was gone, and the pile of puke had been stepped in and stomped on by the runners until it was less of a puddle and more of a vomit archipelago spanning the width and length of the tunnel.  And, kids just kept slapping their shoes on the floor, spraying the spew as they went.  She thought about catching Dee Dee as she went around, to tell her to watch where she stepped in the tunnel, but realized that at this point, it was too late.  Eventually, the Glow Run came to an end and the kids went back to their classroom.  My wife stuck around to help clean up and made sure to find tasks that kept her out of the tunnel and away from the oval the kids had been running in. 

On the walk home, both girls were giddy about the Glow Run.  My wife asked Dee Dee what happened to the boy who was wearing winter boots.  Dee Dee wasn’t sure who she was talking about.  And, although she couldn’t see any sign of puke on Dee Dee’s shoes, she had her step into some of the puddles created by the melting snow.  After they were in the house, she had Dee Dee take off her clothes and threw them in the wash as the bath water was running.  We discussed how it was frustrating to not be able to help the boy who threw up and even more frustrating to not be able to warn others about the mess.  But we agreed that since nobody seemed to notice that anything bad had happened, it was best to leave it that way.