It’s the second full week of January, and the girls had their first full week of school since the last week of November.  And it seemed like a lot got packed into it.  Because of the heavy snowfall, rapid temperature changes, and freezing rain, I spent a good portion of the first four days of the week shoveling, roof raking, and chipping ice on the ground and on the roof, to remove ice dams.  I didn’t touch a shovel on Friday. 

On Monday, we received a couple emails about how Dee Dee would have proficiency tests in math and reading on Tuesday and Wednesday mornings.  So, we tried to get the girls into bed early on Monday and Tuesday nights.  Audio wasn’t interested in sleeping either evening.  She has been unusually obstinate and oppositional since returning to school for Tuesday and Friday of the previous week.  She wasn’t at all happy that Dee Dee was allowed to see her classmates online on the two snow days in the middle of the week.  Then, I think that she had difficulty balancing the stability of home with the instability that the “mean kids” cause at school.  Over the weekend and into the start of the week, Audio was behaving like a mean kid; arguing, hitting, and saying unkind things to Dee Dee and me.  She even drew a portrait of me, showing how fat I look to her.  She can be a bit difficult, at times.  But this was way beyond any bad behavior that she’s displayed in a long time. 

On Tuesday morning, while walking along the sidewalk to the front door of the school, an adult with a wild dog that it about the size of Audio approached her, causing Audio to fall into some deep snow.  She had snow up her sleeves and down her boots.  The dimwit with the dog didn’t seem to realize what sort of a problem he caused by bringing along his wild dog, while he walked his kid or grandkid to school.  I got the snow out of her sleeves and mittens, and then we took off her boots to empty them out.  Then, after the bell rang and Dee Dee went inside, one of Audio’s teachers came out and said that she wanted to talk with me. 

Audio went inside the building to stand by the heat register and wait for her teacher.  Once she was inside the teacher told me that she wanted to talk about Audio’s behavior.  I half-jokingly asked if she was being as bad at school as she was at home.  That was not the case.  Instead, the teacher said that Audio has been very clingy, standing next to the teachers like she isn’t sure what to do when the group moves from the classroom to the cafeteria or when they go outside for recess.  I told the teacher that Audio has been misbehaving at home and that she has been complaining about and then acting like the mean kids in class.  The teacher said that the mean kids have been better behaved and getting better at using their words, as opposed to their bodies.  If they have been, Audio hasn’t noticed. 

Dee Dee had what was supposed to be her last after-school, Musical Theater class.  They were supposed to have a performance for parents.  Dee Dee was nervous about having to do the play.  She practiced her lines with her mom over the weekend and was as ready as she was going to be.  But Dee Dee’s mom called and found out that the performance was put off until next week because they missed a few days because of snow and the instructor not being able to make it.  I was a bit upset that the performance was postponed because I wanted Dee Dee to do it and either find out that she was more prepared than she thought she was because she’s a naturally smart and talented kid, or not do well and find out that there is life after failure.  We’ll have to wait until next week for that lesson. 

On Wednesday morning, as I was microwaving the girl’s microwaveable pancakes, Audio went in the bathroom, closed the door, and somehow managed to pee on the floor (only on the floor, nothing in the toilet).  She’s been goofing around on the toilet recently, twisting from side to side and sitting the wrong way.  So, I wasn’t surprised to see what happened, but I wasn’t happy about it, either.  In an attempt to keep our morning moving along, and aware that Dee Dee had another day of testing to do, I did my best to clean up Audio and clean the bathroom with as little fuss as possible.  Unfortunately, Audio wasn’t happy with how I was helping her and had a meltdown.  After she had composed herself, I put the girls’ pancakes through the microwave again.  Right after the timer sounded, I heard the bathroom door close.  Dee Dee had gone inside.  When she came out, I microwaved the pancakes again.  Both girls were disappointed and complained that the pancakes were tough and chewy.  

Eventually, we made our way out the door and to the school, where we stood in our usual spot and waited for the bell.  The dimwit with the wild dog walked past us, dog bouncing around him, testing the strength of his leash.  I greeted the dimwit as politely as possible and briefly explained that our family has the misfortune of living next door to a person who has had two wild dogs that she refused to control and as a result, we really would prefer if he kept his wild dog under control.  The dimwit proudly claimed that the dog was under control, as the dog bounced around him.  I stated that what I was witnessing was not an example of control and that I was willing to help keep the dog under control.  At that point, I pulled a can of mace out of my pocket, which I carry for protection from wild dogs while I’m on walks, and said clearly, “When you are not able to control the dog, I will help you by incapacitating it.”  The dimwit tugged hard on the dog’s leash and pulled the dog close to his side.  The dimwit again claimed that the dog, which was now pulling his leash around the back of the dimwit’s legs and still bouncing, was in control.  I disagreed and the dimwit walked away with his dog.   

At the end of the day, I brought the sled to pick up the girls, as I’d been doing since all the snow fell.  I hadn’t had a great day and I was looking forward to taking the long way home, so the girls could have a fun ride.  When Audio came out of the school, she stood by me for a bit.  But, when Dee Dee didn’t show up, Audio got bored and went to play on a snow hill.  When Dee Dee finally came out of the school, she told me that her gloves were missing.  I suggested that since I didn’t know if she had any other gloves (as opposed to mittens, which she isn’t as fond of) at home, she should run inside and check the Lost and Found table.  After she went back inside, Audio came back to where I was standing.   

After a bit of small talk about her day, she asked where Dee Dee was.  I told her that she’d gone back inside because she was looking for her gloves.  Upon hearing this, Audio remembered that she’d forgotten her water bottle.  I told her she didn’t need it, that it would be there waiting for her in the morning, or we have more at home that she could use.  Audio stared at me and then started walking toward the school.  I asked her to stop and repeated that she didn’t need to go back inside for the water bottle.  Audio walked around a snowbank we’d been standing near and started up the sidewalk to the school.  She stopped and looked back at me, so I repeated the same instruction, “You don’t need to go inside.  Stay here.”  Audio turned away from me and as she walked towards the school I heard the voice of a school employee say, “Someone’s sassy today.”  I walked around the snowbank, up the sidewalk and almost caught up to her when an older boy opened the door from the inside and stuck his head out.  Audio took advantage of the open door and went into the school.  As I hustled to catch up to Audio, I asked the boy to hold the door for me.  He looked at me, said nothing, and pulled the door shut once Audio was inside.   

After all the staff, students, and parents were cleared out, Dee Dee and Audio finally pushed the heavy door open and came outside.  Dee Dee had not found her gloves, but they did have Audio’s water bottle.  I was rather furious with Audio and advised the girls to start walking.  We usually wait until we are away from the crowd for the girls to get into the sled.  There wasn’t anyone around, so they were able to get in right away. 

I was no longer interested in giving them a long, fun ride.  So, I pulled the girls in the direction of home.  When we got to the busy street that we needed to cross, there were no flag children.  They had already brought their flags back to the school and headed home.  I could see one car in the distance and started pulling the sled across the street.  We were almost to the other side when the sled got very light.  I looked back to see both girls lying in the road, crying.  The car that had been in the distance was now about 30 yards away from us and still approaching.  I shouted to both girls to get up and get out of the street.  I carried the sled and we walked the rest of the way home, both girls crying the whole way. 

Eventually, I was able to explain to Audio that if she hadn’t gone inside, against my directions, we would have gone a different path with the sled and wouldn’t have had the incident in the street.  Eventually she understood what I was telling her.  And eventually I was able to talk with Dee Dee about how I felt bad that I hadn’t been able to give her the sort of attention that she needed after the spill.  It took a while.  But, at some point it seemed that we all understood what had happened, why it happened, and how to avoid a similar situation in the future.  On Thursday night Dee Dee told me that she wasn’t sure how they fell out of the sled, but she thought that it had something to do with Audio reaching over the edge of the sled and tipping it over.  I assume that the girls will never forget the experience and always reminisce about the time “Dad tried to kill us in the street.”  I doubt I’ll ever forget the event. 

On Thursday morning, the girls’ mom was off work and able to walk to school with us.  She carries her own can of mace.  We have mace because we both go for walks around the neighborhood and have experienced wild, untethered, out of control dogs.  To date, I’ve only had one dog bite me and on that occasion I didn’t mace it because while I don’t enjoy being bitten, I do get along with the dog’s owners.  I’ve since learned that the same dog has been a problem and don’t know if I would give it a pass if it bit me again.   

When we got to the same place where the dimwit’s dog forced Audio into the snowbank, sure enough, there was dimwit and his dog again.  Instead of letting the four of us and another neighbor girl who was walking with us (her dad and little brother following a bit behind) come through the thin, shoveled path, he headed straight for us, dog bouncing in every direction.  As he passed us, he pulled his bouncing dog close to him.  The dog leapt from the path to the snowbank and back to the path again.  With my hand in my jacket pocket holding my can of mace, I said, “Under control?” twice and kept walking.  At the end of the day Thursday, my wife and I brought the sleds and gave the girls a long sled ride, the long way home. 

Friday the 13^th went better.  Doggy Dimwit stayed in the school parking lot instead of parading his ridiculous dog through the crowd of kids.  After Dee Dee and Audio went into the school my wife and I spoke with Audio’s teacher a bit more about how things are going.  She didn’t have anything new to report.  But she did say that they are working on helping the kids who aren’t in the “mean kids” camp to advocate for themselves.  While that is an important skill for kids to learn early in life, it seems like everyone would be a lot happier if the three mean kids in the class were just removed and asked to try again next year, in kindergarten. 

Earlier in the week, the mother of one of the other girls in High Five suggested to my wife that the two girls get together for a play date at their house.  I pushed for pushing it off until the last Friday of the month because it is a Teachers’ Record Keeping Day because it’s the end of the quarter, and my wife would be home.  I was hoping to work it out so that I could spend some time with Dee Dee without having to worry about having to be ready to go get Audio.  Instead, the mom thought that since we were coming up on a long weekend, that we get the girls together on Monday from 9:00AM to 1:00PM.   So, I’ll get to hang out with Dee Dee for a bit.  But she’ll need to get up as early as she does on a school day and then we won‘t really be able to plan to do anything other than stay home and play games or watch TV while worrying that my phone could signal the end of our fun at any time.  But I’ll take what I can get. 

Thanks to COVID-19, Audio has never had a play date.  Both Dee Dee and Audio have visited the girl who lives across the street.  And Dee Dee has been to the home of a friend who was in her High Five class.  But this will be Audio’s first time away from her parents (other than school).  I’m excited and happy for her.  But I’m also concerned about how she will behave, especially considering how she’s been acting over the past week, or so.  But, like Dee Dee’s Musical Theater situation, it’s something that she needs to do.  And, whether it goes well or doesn’t, it’ll be some sort of something that tells us where she’s at. After we know more about where she’s at we will know more about how to help her to get to wherever she’s going.